Scenario 1: Having a Straightforward but Supportive Chat with an Underperformer

Conversations about performance can feel awkward, but they’re crucial. Avoiding them doesn’t spare anyone’s feelings—it just lets problems fester. Here’s how to approach it constructively:

1. Get Clear on the Issue

• Pinpoint what’s going wrong using facts (missed deadlines, quality issues, colleague feedback).

• Avoid generalisations. Be specific and fair.

2. Set the Right Tone and Setting

• Arrange a one-to-one in a private, quiet space.

• Keep it calm and professional, with the intention to support, not criticise.

3. Be Honest, but Fair-Minded

• Use a direct but respectful tone: “I wanted to talk about a few concerns I’ve noticed recently.”

• Focus on behaviours and impact—not assumptions or personality.

4. Agree a Way Forward

• Set clear, measurable goals together.

• Ask what support they need—training, clearer instructions, better systems?

5. Follow Through, Don’t Let It Drift

• Summarise what was agreed in writing.

• Book in follow-ups to review progress. Consistency is key.

Scenario 2: Managing Ongoing Friction Between Two Team Members

When people don’t get on, it doesn’t just affect them—it unsettles the whole team. As a manager, you don’t need to be a therapist, but you do need to step in constructively.

1. Address It Early

• Don’t wait for formal complaints or a big bust-up.

• Low-level tension—cold shoulders, snide remarks—needs attention too.

2. Speak to Each Person Separately

• Have calm, confidential chats with each individual.

• Stick to facts, stay neutral, and try to understand what’s driving the tension.

3. Bring Them Together (If Appropriate)

• If both parties are open to it, set up a facilitated conversation.

• Lay ground rules: respect, no interruptions, focus on moving forward.

4. Focus on Work, Not Personalities

• Don’t allow it to spiral into character criticism.

• Keep the focus on what needs to change in their working relationship.

5. Agree Expectations and Monitor the Outcome

• Define how they’ll work together going forward (communication norms, who handles what).

• Check in regularly—improvement often takes time and reinforcement.

Five Key Principles Every Manager Should Apply

Regardless of the scenario, these five principles will help you manage conflict calmly and effectively:

1. Stay Professional and Even-Tempered

• Don’t mirror frustration or emotion. Be the steady hand in the room.

2. Listen Properly

• Let people speak, reflect back what you’ve heard, and show you’re taking them seriously—even if you don’t agree.

3. Be Timely and Tidy

• Don’t let issues drag. The sooner you tackle them, the easier they are to resolve.

4. Set Clear Expectations

• Make sure everyone knows what ‘good looks like’ in terms of behaviour, communication, and performance.

5. Escalate When Needed

• If you’re not making headway, or there’s a serious issue (e.g. bullying, discrimination), involve your manager. Document everything.

Conflict is never comfortable, but it’s part of leadership. When handled with clarity, fairness, and follow-through, difficult situations can actually strengthen working relationships and raise team standards. Don’t fear it—face it head-on, and you’ll earn respect and improve results.

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